Don’t Ever Feel Like You’re Less Than “Perfect”

Some of the lyrics to this song are definitely appropriate for us women who oftentimes Image result for perfectfeel like “we are less than perfect” (by the way, this is the clean version).

PERFECT:  Having all the required or “desirable” elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be.

So, now that we have established perfect doesn’t mean without flaw, let’s move on. It’s time for you to let go of all the past hurt and pain that people have inflicted upon you because of their insecurities.  Because of them, you have been in bondage for years and feeling less than perfect.  Today, is your day to begin to move past that.  Have a good cry, if necessary.  Purge all negative thoughts from your mind.

We look at the celebrities and often admire them for being glamorous.  Sometimes, we even allow ourselves to become depressed because we feel like we don’t have it going on they way they do.  The truth of the matter is we have to be disciplined to make sacrifices like they have.  We have to hit the gym and change our diets or cut back on our eating if we want to lose weight.  Find the makeup that’s right for you.  Find the clothes that fit your body type.  Create your own style.  You never have to be envious of anyone.  Be your own beautiful, bad self.  Be you.  We all want to be glamorous, but check out the definition below; it’s just not based on outward beauty as people would have you think.

GLAMOUR:  The attractive or exciting quality that makes certain people or things seem appealing or special (allure, attraction, fascination, charm).  Glamour is just not just being physically attractive, but attractive on the inside as well.

People have torn you down.  Forget about them!  Put them on the back burner of your mind.  They are irrelevant and if they’re not, they should be.  If you have zero self-esteem (like I once had), devise a list of all of your positive attributes.  You will be pleasantly surprised how quickly that list fills up.  Now, if you are feeling so low and so down and out, and can’t think of a single, solitary positive thing, ask someone you can trust to help you start your list.

I was in a relationship once with someone who tried to make me feel less than perfect by talking about my flaws.  What they didn’t know was that I had already been done that road.  I knew what my flaws were and had allowed myself to be impacted by them negatively for years until one day I realized that my flaws made me unique.  I am free from that mindset, and will never allow anyone to make me feel less than perfect again.

 

 

 

 

Don’t you ever feel like you’re less than perfect — because…

#GurlYouGotItGoinOn

Love ya,

Grace

P.S.:  I now have a podcast which is featured on Spotify as well as Apple Podcasts which you may find under Grace Deveraux or Chat With Grace.  Also, you may find me on Instagram @Gracedeveraux.  Please stop by and check out what I’ve been up to lately.

You Don’t Have to Suffer

Most recently, mental health issues have been one of the most talked about topics in our community.  Celebrities are even sharing their stories of depression, bipolar disorder, suicidal thoughts, and some have even talked about the need for medication.  Two people who were well-known to the world committed suicide in one week.  The world was shocked, and some of us even questioned why.  We looked at those two people who were extremely talented as well as admired and loved by so many.  We felt they had everything to live for, and couldn’t imagine why they could have been so unhappy.  Of course various stories, speculations and assumptions have come out, but does anyone really know about the fight they had within themselves?

Let’s make this a little more personal.  I shared in one of my earlier posts how I was depressed day in and day out for many years, and not one single soul on the face of this earth knew about it.  I was extremely well at hiding my feelings.  However, I was in excruciating pain.  No one could run to my rescue because they were clueless.  I was too ashamed of myself and the suicidal thoughts I had on a regular basis.

When I looked at the graphic above, it described my exact feelings back then.  I wanted to give up.  I absolutely hated myself.  I felt useless and the list went on and on.  Most of us have come in contact with people who have felt the same way.  It hurts our hearts to see them suffering because looking from the outside in, they have everything to live for, and we tell them as much.

What is the definition of mental health illness?  Mental health illness are disorders that affect your mood, thinking and behavior.  Under this umbrella falls:  depression, anxiety disorders, addictive behaviors, eating disorders and schizophrenia, etc.

DEPRESSION:   Depression is a common medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, think, and act.  Depression causes feelings of sadness, loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed, sleeping too much or lack thereof, increased fatigue or loss of energy just to name a few.

ANXIETY DISORDER:  Anxiety disorder is worrying about things all the time, and fear of life in general (always thinking something is going to happen).

ADDICTIVE BEHAVIORS:  Addictive behaviors are actions beyond conscious control that are constantly repeated by a person who is dependent on a chemical substance or activity (even when you know it’s not good for you and even when you tell yourself and others you are going to stop).

EATING DISORDERS:  Eating disorders are illness that are characterized by irregular eating habits and severe distress or concern about body weight or shape such as anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa and binge eating disorder.

SCHIZOPHRENIA:  Schizophrenia is a mental illness that can affect how clearly you think, how you relate to others, and how you handle your emotions.  Some of the symptoms of schizophrenia are:  hallucinations, delusions, disorganized thinking, social withdrawal, flat affect, loss of pleasure, inability to focus, troupe processing information, and learning difficulties.

AVAILABLE RESOURCES:

  • National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA):  You may reach the NEDA Helpline Monday through Thursday from 9:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. ET, and Friday from 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. ET at 1-800-931-2237.
  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:  They provide free and confidential support 24/7 at 1-800-273-8255.
  • National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI):  The NAMI HelpLine can be reached Monday through Friday from 10:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. ET at 1-800-950-6264.

If someone you know is suffering from any of the above listed illnesses, I implore you to encourage them to seek help because it could be the difference between life and death.

Please don’t be ashamed or embarrassed to get assistance if you’re suffering.  You don’t ever have to suffer in silence because you are not alone, though it may feel that way.  We are in this together.  Your friends and family are fighting for you.  Now, it’s time for you to fight for yourself.  Get the help that you need so that you will be whole, healthy, and happy.  We want to keep you around for many years to come.

Surround yourself with a good support group.  Talk to your family.  You may need to see a therapist who can give you some thoughts on how to manage your feelings or you may need both a therapist and a psychiatrist (who helps with medication).  The only way to get help is to seek it.  Some people are opposed to medication, but you have to do what’s right for you.  I know someone who once thought that if they didn’t take their prescribed medication that the diagnosis would magically disappear.  It didn’t, and they suffered.

I don’t care what you’re going through currently or what your past looks like, I want you to always remember that #GurlYouGotItGoinOn.  NEVER GIVE UP.  NEVER GIVE IN.  NEVER STOP BELIEVING IN YOURSELF.  

Love ya,
Grace

We Are All Affected…

Let’s keep these families in prayers as they struggle to find answers, and deal with their losses.

Always remember, #GurlYouGotItGoinOn

Love ya,

Grace

 

P.S.:  I now have a podcast which is featured on Spotify as well as Apple Podcasts which you may find under Grace Deveraux or Chat With Grace.  Also, you may find me on Instagram @Gracedeveraux.  Please stop by and check out what I’ve been up to lately.

Sometimes, You Just Gotta Take A Step Back…

Several days ago, I cleaned my bathroom mirrors and they looked pretty good, or so I thought — that is, until I STEPPED BACK.  Once I did that, I was able to see the smudges, and realized that I needed to clean them again.  This time, when I stepped back, the mirrors looked great.

Sometimes, we are so close to the situation, that we really can’t see the “big picture”, so we have to TAKE A STEP BACK.

In life, we go through many things — people getting on our nerves, finances, health issues, relationship concerns, etc.  Some of us react immediately rather than TAKING A STEP BACK.  I have found out that the older I get, I don’t always take the necessary STEP BACK, but have become more reactionary, particularly, when I’ve had the same conversation multiple times.  Let’s just say that my patience has gotten a lot shorter (which can be both good and bad).  It used to be when people did or said something I didn’t like, I would “politely” ignore them.  Now, there are moments that I’m at the complete opposite end of the spectrum.  Rather than holding it in and seething about it for days, I let it out, and boy do I ever.  My thoughts and feelings are splattered all over the place.  Depending upon the situation, sometimes, I have to take a STEP BACK by taking the high road and apologizing, even if I’m not the one at fault.  One of my favorite quotes is “It’s not what you say, but how you say it”.  I said that to say this, I meant what I said, but there are times when my delivery needs some work.

When we take a STEP BACK, and analyze the situation, not only do we see things more clearly, but we feel so much better.  I have found this method to be most liberating (that is, when I follow it).  I want you to keep in mind that we will not always pass the test. However, we can certainly be a work in progress.  Because I’m learning to STEP BACK, I’m passing some of my tests with check marks and even some check pluses instead of always getting big fat red zeroes.  There have been times when I have actually shocked myself.  🙂

I’ve had to take a STEP BACK from relationships.  I’ve had to take a STEP BACK from acquaintances that I thought were friends.  I had to take a STEP BACK to allow my adult children to begin to understand what it is to be independent and not dependent.  I’m still working on this one because it’s tough; however, if I don’t let go, they will never learn or grow up because I would have been instrumental in their growth being stunted. There are times when I have had to take a hundred STEPS BACK when someone cut me off in traffic or when they got over and didn’t drive the speed limit.  Whew!

There are times when we should take a STEP BACK before allowing ourselves to become enthralled in other people’s affairs; rather than staying in our own lane, we cross the lines and crash into their lane.  Everything is not our business nor should we force our “unwanted” thoughts and opinions on others.  However, there are exceptions to this rule and we have to use wisdom and exercise good judgment.  If you discern someone is hurting, it’s perfectly fine to ask them if they’re okay.  You don’t want to see people drowning without throwing out the life line to them.  However, it’s totally up to them if they want to share.  They may open up or they may not.  Whatever you do, don’t pressure them.  Keep in mind that prayer can reach places that we can’t.

In life we are ever learning and ever-growing; therefore, don’t be too hard on yourself if you forget to TAKE A STEP BACK.  After all, you are only human!  If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again…

Wise Quotes

#GurlYouGotItGoinOn

Love ya,

Grace

 

 

P.S.:  I now have a podcast which is featured on Spotify as well as Apple Podcasts which you may find under Grace Deveraux or Chat With Grace.  Also, you may find me on Instagram @Gracedeveraux.  Please stop by and check out what I’ve been up to lately.

This Girl Is On Fire!

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My post is a day late because the original blog just didn’t “feel right”, so I had to go back to the drawing board which, I have to admit, was more than a little frustrating.  However, it’s extremely important for me to make sure that I’m posting about the right topics at the right time; otherwise, what’s the point.  While wrestling with myself and my thoughts, one of my friends texted me because she didn’t see a new post for the week.  I told her my situation, and her response was “It’s not good to have you (people) waiting and wondering either”.  I had to laugh when I read her message, but she has absolutely no idea what those simple words meant to me.  My best friend told me that she is a captive audience member now.  My other closest friend is constantly coming up with marketing ideas.  One of my coworkers is always saying, “You need to do something with this”.  There is another person, whom I’ve never met,  that follows me weekly and leaves kind comments.  One of the members of my church also follows me faithfully. What none of these people understand is that they keep me going by their support, kind words, and suggestions; I will be forever grateful to each and every one of them.

In favor of today’s post, I searched for songs that were geared to women’s empowerment.  In doing so, I came across the lyrics to “This Girl Is On Fire” by Alicia Keys.  Some of you have probably listened to it a million times but, until now, I had never heard the song in its entirety.  The words are absolutely beautiful and oh, so powerful.  I’ve included a small portion of the instrumentals for you to take a listen to and, perhaps, even sing along.

While being on FIRE, you must be bold in your statement towards life.  You have to learn how to put fear aside as you accomplish those things that you are passionate about  — no matter what it is and regardless of whose support you have.  You have to keep going; somebody is depending on your gift to the world.

You must be on FIRE:  as you fight for that relationship that’s worth saving; and advocate for your children (because who knows them better and will fight harder than you) all the while loving them unconditionally; and by being a voice in your community and/or place of employment.  Let your FIRE burn, burn and burn some more; don’t let your circumstances extinguish it.  In other words, don’t be robbed of your FIRE.

Unfortunately, there are times when your FIRE dies a slow death because you feel the need to be all things to all people at all times, and you are literally burned out by the cares of this life.  You’ve never unplugged, and taken time for yourself — ever.  You don’t say “no” because you don’t want to disappoint anyone or have people angry with you, even though you’re dog tired from life’s hustle and bustle.  People have sucked the life out of you and drained you completely dry, and you’ve allowed it.   Then, you become secretly resentful, but you plaster on your happy face anyway and say nothing.  STOP RIGHT NOW!  Do you really think your mission on earth is to take care of everyone and everything except yourself?  I guarantee you that if you weren’t here to do those things, the people who you permit to run you ragged would figure it out — been there, done that!

Let’s relieve some of that anxiety and pinned up stress that you’ve been carrying around.  I want you to grab your microphone or your make shift microphone by the way of your brush or broom or whatever you choose, and sing your heart out as you release those endorphins.  Don’t be concerned about not hitting the notes (Lord knows I can’t carry a tune in a bucket, as the old folks used to say and Simon Cowell would probably chase me off the stage, LOL); just have fun with it.  For those of you who have the vocals, imagine yourself singing at a large stadium or Carnegie Hall in front of thousands and thousands of people.  Now, belt out those lyrics by giving it all you’ve got.  You feel good, right?

Now, it’s time to give yourself permission to recharge — to REIGNITE that FIRE, and I don’t mean just having a few sparks here and there.  Trust me, the world is not going to come to an end if you don’t do laundry for a day or clean your house or cook dinner or be the maid or act as a 24/7 unpaid taxi driver who doesn’t even  get a simple “thank you”.  Believe it or not, it really is okay not to be “Wonder Woman”.  Whew, what a relief!

I want you to exhale and let out that deep breath that you’ve been holding since forever.  Gurl, you know you’re mentally and physically exhausted, and have been for years but you’ve pushed yourself for other people day after day, week after week, month after month and year after year.  Today, put everyone on notice that there is a new sheriff in town, and that you are no longer going to continue neglecting yourself.  Yes, they are going to pout and ask what are they going to do.  You simply say, “Figure it out”.  That’s not being rude.  It’s just saying that you care enough about yourself to take care of you.  Don’t allow them to make you feel guilty about hanging out your imaginary do not disturb sign.

I want you to LIGHT the FIRE that you once had and as you come in contact with other women, IGNITE their FIRE as well.  Don’t feel inferior or intimated , but rather focus on the lives that will be changed as we encourage and support one another.  No matter who you are or where you’ve come from or your social status or your race, the bottom line is we are WOMEN who should come together to BUILD UP and not TEAR DOWN.

I’m on FIRE, and plan on motivating other women to catch on FIRE too.  What about you?

Elegant Woman Silhouette by GDJ
Woman Silhouette 60

Image result for images of woman silhouette

 

#GurlYouGotItGoinOn

Love ya,

Grace

P.S.:  I now have a podcast which is featured on Spotify as well as Apple Podcasts which you may find under Grace Deveraux or Chat With Grace.  Also, you may find me on Instagram @Gracedeveraux.  Please stop by and check out what I’ve been up to lately.

Who Are You, Really?

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Have you ever felt like you had no clue as to who you were, so you set out to be like someone else?  You may have tried to sing like them or mimic their style of dressing or maybe used some of their catch phrases or even started talking like them.  It’s okay because at one point in time, we have all had role models; however, there was a time when we eventually figured out WHO WE WERE.  My youngest sister, who is 14 years and 9 months younger than I am, used to say all the time “When I grow up, I want to be just like you”.  I thought that was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me.  That all changed, however,  when she grew up.  She realized that she was her “OWN INDIVIDUAL PERSON” who needed to have her own “IDENTITY”, and not be a carbon copy of me.  I was silently disappointed because it felt good to have someone look at you with such respect and admiration that they wanted to pattern their life after yours.

There was a time when none of us had our own identity.  When we were kids, we were “so and so’s kid”.  At some point, we may have been known as “so and so’s wife”.  Then later, we became “so and so’s mother”.  What happened to “US” and “OUR” identity?  For some, it got lost and you were never able to recapture it.

If you’re still trying to figure out who you are, I want you to sit down and reserve some quiet time for yourself as you ponder this for a moment or two – “WHO ARE YOU”?

It took me a while to “FIND MYSELF”, as they used to say, because I always wanted to be like someone else and look like someone else and, thus, walked in other people’s shadows — hiding behind them.  Therefore, no one got a chance to see “ME”.  Then, there came a day when I realized WHO I WAS.  What a glorious day!

If you’ve ever looked at other women and said, “Man, I wished I could be like her” or “I wished I looked like her” or “I wished I had a husband like hers” or, or, or, I want you to stop it right now.  It’s okay to admire people, but it’s not cool to think that we have so little to offer ourselves or anyone else that we “THROW” ourselves away to become them.  Gurl, don’t you realize who you are and what you have to give if you would be true to yourself?

If there are things that you don’t like, fix them.  It’s not always as simple as that, I know.  If you want to lose weight, find a system that works best for you.  Some people can’t diet (that would be me) because they are unable to be consistent with it.  Don’t set unrealistic expectations that you would never achieve because, in doing so, you have already set yourself up for failure.  If you don’t like your hair, cut it, grow it out, color it.  Whatever it takes for you to feel better about it.  If you don’t like your wardrobe, talk to someone who may be able to give you some fashion tips (you don’t have to hire a wardrobe consultant).  If you’d like to wear a little makeup but have no clue how to apply it, rather than doing it incorrectly, ask for help.  You’ll find that most times people are willing to assist you.  If you wanted to obtain a college degree, now is your time.  If you wanted to take up that hobby, what’s stopping you?  The list could go on and on, but I think you get my drift.  Don’t be afraid to “BE YOU”.

I’ve compiled a list of who I am, and hope you will as well.

WHO I AM (characteristics):  I am – 1) beautiful; 2) intelligent; 3) funny; 4) generous (giving of my time because Lord knows I have no money, LOL); 5) caring; 6) considerate; 7) compassionate; 8) loving; 9) nurturing; 9) encouraging; 10) loyal (my best friend and I have been friends for nearly 46 years, so that says a lot); 11) hardworking; and last but not least 12) a little “whack-a-doodles” (my kids think I’m off my rockers, but aren’t we all, LOL).

When I stop and think about who I really am, I see a strong woman who has had to overcome quite a few obstacles to get to this place in life.  I see a woman who is not afraid of challenges.  I see a woman who is willing to stand alone, if necessary.  I see a woman who will take the bull by the horn.  My stylist calls me “Norma Rae” because I’m not afraid to fight for what I believe in.

WHO ARE YOU:  Fill in the blank ____.  After compiling your list, I’m sure you’ve discovered so many attributes that you weren’t even aware of.  Put your list in a spot that is visible.  During those moments that you feel down or hopeless or worthless, review your list.  Let those positive words sink in and help you to catch your second wind as you move forward.  I had someone tell me that they didn’t think they could ever feel comfortable in their own skin.  My response was “YES, YOU CAN”!

Today, I dare you to be bold and OWN YOUR LIFE, and say “I am ____”.

I AM PHENOMENAL!  I AM FIERCE!  I AM WOMAN!  I AM FREE!

Always remember that #GurlYouGotItGoinOn!

Love ya,

Grace

P.S.:  I now have a podcast which is featured on Spotify as well as Apple Podcasts which you may find under Grace Deveraux or Chat With Grace.  Also, you may find me on Instagram @Gracedeveraux.  Please stop by and check out what I’ve been up to lately.

You Are Beautiful; You Are Loved

Hey there, beautiful!  Yes, I’m talking to you.  I want you to know that you are BEAUTIFUL, and YOU ARE LOVED.

I don’t know about you, but some days I feel like I’m the most beautiful woman in the world, and there are days that I see my reflection staring back at me in the mirror (usually because of lack of sleep), and I ask myself, “Who is that old-looking lady”? However, it’s nothing that a little tube of lipstick, mascara and an eyebrow pencil can’t fix.  I then look at that mirror and put on a big smile and say, “Now, I’m ready”.

Years ago, when I was going through my phase of not loving anything about myself, I always wanted to look like someone else or be built like a “Brick House”, as the Commodores used to sing.  I was as skinny as a rail back then, and the only thing you saw were these two big feet suspended from this pencil thin body.  I ate everything I could get my hands on, but no cigar; I couldn’t gain weight to save my life.  At some point, though, I had to say “Whoa, Nellie” because the weight wouldn’t stop coming; I continued to “expand” year after year.

I remember vividly when the dropped waist dresses came out in the early 1980’s; I wanted one so badly.  However, when I tried on a number of them, they all looked like they were still hanging on the hanger.  That was really depressing.  Eventually, I found a light blue one, that looked pretty decent which, ultimately, became one of my favorites.

Fast forward.  Today, I can’t imagine being anyone else.  I always say that “Halle Berry ain’t got nothing on me”.  Now, before you all spew whatever you’re drinking out of your mouth and fall out laughing as you imagine me standing next to her with my head held high, let me explain.  Halle Berry is an extremely beautiful woman, and in 2003 she graced the cover of People Magazine as one of the 50 most beautiful women in the world. I could live to be 2,000 years old and would never be voted for that category so, in my logical mind, I know there is simply no comparison.  However, I have LEARNED to be comfortable in my skin, and you can’t tell me that I don’t have it going on.  Even with all of my physical flaws and rolls and lumps of “fat”, I am beautiful inside and out.  Yes, I did say that, and no I’m not being conceited, and no I’m not crazy nor have I “bumped my head”, as we used to say.  I’m proud of my “beauty”, and have “LEARNED” to walk in it and my “UNIQUENESS”.

If you’ve never told yourself that you are beautiful, give yourself permission to do so. You don’t have to feel inferior to another woman’s beauty because YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.  Next, I want you to tell yourself that YOU ARE LOVED because you are. Maybe you don’t feel loved by anyone, but you can begin to feel loved by “LEARNING” to love yourself first.

 As always, I want you to remember that #GurlYouGotItGoinOn.
Love ya,
Grace
P.S.:  I now have a podcast which is featured on Spotify as well as Apple Podcasts which you may find under Grace Deveraux or Chat With Grace.  Also, you may find me on Instagram @Gracedeveraux.  Please stop by and check out what I’ve been up to lately.

Happy Mother’s Day

 

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Happy Mother’s Day to all mother’s, and to all of the women who are and have been a part of “It Takes A Village”.  May your day be bright!

If your mom has passed on and you’re really feeling down today, reminisce on the happy times that you shared together.  Think about that one thing that made her stand out from all the rest, and smile about it.  You can even say out loud “Mom, I love and miss you so much”, and then blow her a kiss.  As the Intruders sang, “I’ll Always Love My Mama”.

 

#GurlYouGotItGoinOn

Love ya,

Grace

P.S.:  I now have a podcast which is featured on Spotify as well as Apple Podcasts which you may find under Grace Deveraux or Chat With Grace.  Also, you may find me on Instagram @Gracedeveraux.  Please stop by and check out what I’ve been up to lately.

My Hands Weren’t Clean Either…

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I’ve been sharing my story of how others hurt me and how, thank God, I was able to get over it and go on with life.

Unfortunately, there is a very special person that I hurt deeply — that is my sister.  Sadly, I guess the saying is true, “Hurt people, hurt people”.

When my sister and I were growing up, I did some really cruel things to her.  Don’t ask me why because I have no idea other than I was just being a “dumb” kid who was acting like a “brat”. However, that’s not an excuse for my poor behavior.

There were times that I would hit her for no apparent reason other than the fact that I could.  One day, she fought back.  She was much stronger and I knew when to call it quits, so I stopped putting my hands on her.  She told me in later years that she didn’t fight back sooner because I was her sister and she loved me.  That’s enough to rip your heart right out of your chest.  I felt like a complete heel.

I remember a time when we were fairly young and my maternal grandmother gave her an outfit.  I was jealous because I didn’t get a “special gift” and helped to cut holes in it.  Who does that sort of thing to someone who they are supposed to love and help protect, particularly, since I was the eldest sibling.  There were times that I would let her take the punishment for some of the wrong things that I did because I didn’t want to get in trouble.  I could share more stories, but I won’t.  Let’s just say, I wasn’t the big sister that I should have been or could have been for that matter.

My “younger” sister looked up to me as her “big” sister and merely wanted to be with me, but I didn’t want her “tagging” along.  The things that I did to her were just plain mean-spirited, and there was absolutely no excuse for my actions back then.  I wished I could go back in time, and erase all of the pain that I caused but, unfortunately, I can’t.

While my wounds have healed, my sister is still hurting.  She and I were talking some time around November or December of 2017, and I could hear the hurt in her voice as we talked about “those days”.  I sincerely apologized, again, because I truly feel bad.  It’s been 40 years, but she has never gotten over the hurt.  I want to stop the “bleeding”, but I can still see it “seeping” through the bandage because of the “deep” wounds.  I loved her, and wouldn’t let anyone else hurt her; unfortunately, I was probably one of the people who hurt her the most.  Let’s just say, I did some major harm.

Some people carry their “pain” around their entire lives.  They never feel good about themselves because we have “damaged” them through our ignorance, through our bullying, through our eagerness to feel good about ourselves and finally through our own pain, and that’s one of the reasons why it is so crucial not to “EVER” mistreat people, even when we feel we can get away with it, even we feel superior and even when we feel justified.  The saying, “Do unto others as you would have them to unto you” is right on point.  Would we actually want people to treat us the “crappy” way that we treat them?  Let’s walk in their shoes for a minute.  Close your eyes and think about what you said or did to that individual or individuals.  Does it feel good?  Really think about it and feel their pain.  Now, don’t you feel just awful?

If you’ve hurt someone (whether it’s your parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, children, friends, coworkers, neighbors, etc.), be mature enough to go back and apologize.  They may or may not accept your apology, but that’s the risk you must be willing to take.  They may have written you off completely, and want nothing further to do with you.  No matter.  Put on your “big girl panties”, and say “I’M SORRY”. 

Don’t stop there.  While you’re at it, spread some love and sunshine with those you come in contact with today because you just never know what they’re going through.  There are so many people whose feelings have been crushed which has left them feeling absolutely devastated.  In short, PEOPLE ARE HURTING, and your kind, gentle, loving words, warm smile, and listening ear is just what the “good doctor ordered”.

No matter what people “throw” at you, always remember #GurlYouGotItGoinOn.

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Always remember, #GurlYouGotItGoinOn

Love ya,

Grace

P.S.:  I now have a podcast which is featured on Spotify as well as Apple Podcasts which you may find under Grace Deveraux or Chat With Grace.  Also, you may find me on Instagram @Gracedeveraux.  Please stop by and check out what I’ve been up to lately.

 

 

 

 

 

Fight for Your Life…

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Let’s face it.  We are all going through “something” — some more than others.  Today, you might be feeling as though you are about to fall off the “cliff of life” because you don’t see a way out of your circumstances.  I beg to differ; however, you are in for the fight of your life!  Stop sitting around feeling sorry for yourself and questioning why and sitting in the corner holding your head in your hands and doing nothing.  You have to FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE!

Today, I want you to put on your “imaginary” boxing gloves, and choose your stance all the while grounding your feet into the floor to make sure you are stable.  I, then, want you to “pretend” to punch the living daylights out of those issues after asking them “if they want some of this”.  Uppercut depression.  Right jab low self-esteem.  Use the hook move to take out anger and hurt.  Use the cross technique to crush loneliness.  Tell those problems that you will not be defeated!

Your opponent (issues) hit you pretty hard, and knocked the wind out of you.  Catch your breath and get back in there.  You were punched so hard that you lost your footing, and felt like you were unable to get back up.  You just wanted to lie there in agony, but you can’t.  As the referee is counting, don’t let him get to ten.  Slowly rise to your feet, and resume your stance.  Look those matters, that are causing you stress, straight in the eye and say, “I’m not done yet”.  Put on your “mean mug”.  While you are handling your business, hear your supporters rooting for you.  They are loudly cheering you on.  They are screaming “You can do it.  Don’t give up”.  Now is not the time to throw in the towel.  You only have a few more minutes to go in this round.  Bluff your opponent by putting on your game face; you don’t want it to be known just how hurt you are because the same spot will be hammered and could be potentially fatal.  When you are dealt a blow, give several blows in return.  Learn how to bob and weave.  Stay off the ropes.

Some of “life’s punches”, can be blocked by you being preventive; avoid those pitfalls that are visible.  Don’t go left when you know you should go right.  I’ve been in a fight most of my life, but didn’t realize it at the time; I just felt people didn’t care too much for me.  Folk loved to say some very unkind things.  Once I was told that my sister looked better than I did.  I was also told that I would never have anything or amount to anything.  Those things could have taken me out and, quite frankly, they almost did because I believed those hurtful words.  However, I took my life back by being the driver rather than the passenger.  I’ve had many “bruises” and have been knocked down more times than I can count, but I thank God that I’m still here to tell the story.

Now, I realize you’re tired, but I implore you to hang in there.  Your very existence depends on it.  Catch your breath.  Drink some water.  Use your inhaler.  Pray.  Cry.  Whatever you do, get up!

It Was Tough, But I Came Out Victorious!

No matter what is happening in your life, stay in the ring and remember #GurlYouGotItGoinOn.

Love ya,

Grace

P.S.:  I now have a podcast which is featured on Spotify as well as Apple Podcasts which you may find under Grace Deveraux or Chat With Grace.  Also, you may find me on Instagram @Gracedeveraux.  Please stop by and check out what I’ve been up to lately.