C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-E…

COMMUNICATE:   To convey knowledge of or information about : make known communicate a story; to reveal by clear signs; to cause or pass from one another.  To transmit information, thought or feeling so that it is satisfactorily received or understood by two sides failing to communicate with each other.  

Image result for communicationI cannot express just how vital communication is.  Recently, I almost lost the relationship that I had with one of my best friends.  We were communicating via text message, and I thought they were saying one thing and I responded the way I understood the comment.  Needless to say, I misunderstood their message and took the entire conversation out of context.  They, in turn, took my message out of context as well.  A couple of days went by and I couldn’t stand the silence any longer, so I reached out to them not knowing if they would be willing to communicate with me or not.  They did, and things were ironed out.  Sometimes, you just have to use the traditional method of talking face to face.  I’m all for technology, but there are times when you have to go old school.

Communication doesn’t just exist between a husband and wife or boyfriend and girlfriend or friends, but it exists in every facet of our lives.  We use the art of communication daily no matter the relationship (children, coworkers, etc.).

Image result for communicationCan you read my mind?  Absolutely not!  How many times have we gotten upset with someone when they didn’t do something we desired of them, but we never communicated our requests with them to in the first place.  Perhaps, we figured our thoughts were being transmitted telepathically.  Really?  The poor unsuspecting person had no idea why you were so ticked off with them as they scratched their heads in the wonder of it all, which is totally unfair to them.

Sometimes, you are attempting to communicate; however, it is very apparent that the other party is either distracted or clearly not interested in anything you have to say.  When my sister and I were growing up, it seemed like whenever I opened a book to read, she wanted to communicate about one thing or another.  Because I loved to read, I really wasn’t listening.  I figured out a way to say, “Uh, huh” at the right time; however, she caught on that I wasn’t really listening and would quiz me on what she had said by asking me to repeat it.  Of course, I was unable to do so.  It hurt her feelings, so I learned to listen and communicate with her.

Have you ever met someone that it’s virtually impossible to communicate with because they misconstrue everything you say?  Now, that’s a topic that I could write a book about.  There was someone that I couldn’t communicate with to save my life.  We’d start off talking, and then it would inevitably turn into a full blown argument.  Why, you may ask?  They didn’t really hear what I was saying, but rather made it about them and didn’t really care about my thoughts or feelings.  Of course, that didn’t fly with me; therefore, we didn’t have much of anything that we could communicate with one another.

Some people like to communicate when they are angry.  Let me just tell you, if you haven’t already figured it out, that’s not the right time because things are often said in the heat of the moment that you can’t take back.  Feelings are hurt and, even though you apologize, the wound is there.  I’m the type that needs to walk away to cool down if things really get out of whack.  You have to know yourself and what you can or cannot handle.  It’s okay to excuse yourself and say, “Can we discuss this later because right now I’m pretty angry and I need to calm down and process?”.  Now, the person may be willing to do that or they may just be determined to continue down the path where no one wins or hears each other.  I remember the time when I first realized that I needed to walk away from an argument, so that things didn’t get ugly.  The person followed me into the next room before I had a chance to get it together.  Unfortunately, it didn’t work out too well because I was extremely angry and all sorts of words spewed out of my mouth.  What I said was true; however, I would have been able to effectively communicate my true feelings a lot better in a much calmer fashion had I been given the opportunity to cool off.

There was a time in my life that I didn’t think I had a voice, so there was very little communication from me — part of it was due to the fact that I was extremely shy.  Now, I talk ALL OF THE TIME.  One of my friends calls me “Chatty Kathy”.  One of my other friends tells me to get to the point when she is limited for time.  Other people probably say to themselves, “Here she comes.  Let’s head in the opposite direction”.  My kids tell me that I “repeat myself.”  I had one of my friends laughing when I told them about an incident where a man used to say, “You can’t tell it all”.  They told me when I get wound up from this point on, that’s the phrase they were going to use.  LOL!  Sometimes, we can communicate too much and people tune us out because all they hear is blah, blah blah.  You have to pay attention to the signs and learn when to end the conversation without driving the other party insane.  Okay, I’m still learning this technique.  LOL!

Whether you have a little or a lot to say, please use your voice — communicate.  Don’t walk around with your thoughts and feelings bottled up inside of you.  That’s one of the worse things you can do.  You deserve to be heard.  Again, don’t overdo it.  It is okay to save some for the next time.

Lastly, communication is a two way street.  If you communicate your feelings, allow the other person to communicate theirs as well.  Don’t just be a talker, but also a listener.  Remember, that it’s not just about you and what you think or feel, but about the other person too.   I can’t tell you how crucial that is in any type of relationship.  Oh, and, one other thing — communication is not a shouting match.  If everyone is screaming at the top of their lungs, no one is being heard.

You have a voice

Don’t let it get lost

“Learn” to express yourself

You’ll feel like a weight has been lifted off

your shoulders

Don’t wait until you’re going to blow

Because that is not the right time

 

No matter what, always remember #GurlYouGotItGoinOn

Love ya,

Grace

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Dying A Slow Death…Part I

…your heart.

I’m recently divorced after being married for 20 something years.  Oftentimes, people will say, “I’m sorry,” when they hear about it.  My response is always, “Don’t be.  It’s okay.  Things happen”.  In this post, I’m not going into the particulars of why my ex and I divorced; however, what I can say is that there was a lot of hurt and pain, words that were said, and things that were done.  It took many years to come to the conclusion that the relationship wasn’t working for either one of us.  However, during the course of this time, my  heart was dying a slow death.  Little by little, any feelings that I thought I had were disappearing (this will be a topic for a later post).

In relationships, as the saying goes, “It takes two to tango”.  I might not have done a lot in my marriage, but I sure reacted quite a bit — that is, until I matured and realized that every little thing didn’t need to be addressed.  

Marriage is work.  Let me say that again, “Marriage is work” if you want it to be successful, and no it is not the responsibility of one person to carry the relationship.   Relationships can be quite turbulent.  Sometimes, it’s due to the simple fact of marrying the wrong person.  It’s like trying to fit a square into a circle — it just doesn’t work.  That was the case in my situation.  I had three different people come to me and say,  “Don’t do it.”  Did I listen?  Of course not!  I did it my way.   They saw what I refused to see as I walked around with blinders on.  In life, we should always be cognizant of the fact that there are consequences for our actions — good or bad.  I could definitely write a book about that.   Having said that, however, I did learn a lot about myself and life, in general, during the course of my marriage.  In essence, I grew up.  The scared, insecure woman who had been living inside me for most of my life realized her self worth, and decided that she had made a mistake.

When I was married, I spent years being on a “mental” roller coaster ride — one minute I was leaving and the next I was praying that things would work out.  One day, I came to the conclusion that the issues were “unfixable,” and there was never going to be any type of reconciliation.

The day that I knew it was over for sure, I have to admit I was pretty terrified because I hadn’t been on my own in years.  What was I going to do?  How was I going to make it?  Where was I going to live?  Etc., etc.  Once my anxiety calmed down, I was able to think and make plans for what the next step needed to be.  I didn’t want to sneak out like a “thief in the night,” so I gave my ex five weeks notice because I wanted him to be prepared mentally and financially.  Some people believe in just leaving without letting the other party know and, perhaps, in those cases it might be best, particularly, if it’s a safety issue (you have to know your partner).  Did things get crazy during that period of time?  You betcha they did.  However, I’m grateful that on moving day, everything went well (with the exception of my vehicle not starting and they had my name in the system at U-Haul but no truck assigned to me).

When people talk about and agree to marry, most do so with the expectation that they and their partner will grow old together.  For me, every time I see and older couple together, it touches my heart.  I watch them as they care for one another.  They may be out to dinner and, perhaps, one is cutting food for the other because they can no longer do that for themselves or maybe they are holding hands or maybe one is pushing the other in a wheelchair, etc.  No relationship is perfect nor is it exempt from disagreements; however, couples who last have found a way to weather the storm —  they’ve found a way to make it work.  During difficult times, they learned how to put their pride aside and agree to disagree.   The flip side of the coin is that there are those relationships that end because both parties are too stubborn to say, “I’m sorry.  What can WE do to make it work?”

There is that group of people who don’t reach out to their partner because they don’t want to feel like they are kissing their backside or be viewed as crawling back to them.  That is absolutely ludicrous!  If you love a person, why shouldn’t you express it to them?  Why can’t you wear your feelings on your sleeves?  Why can’t you be vulnerable?  In my opinion, it’s okay to show your raw emotions.  When did we stop fighting for the one we love or is it just so much easier to walk away?  Perhaps, you’ve done all of this and the two of you still ended up going your separate ways, but at least you let them know they mattered — that the two of you mattered.  You attempted to do something as opposed to being completely miserable without them and doing nothing whatsoever to repair your failing relationship.  By allowing pride to get in the way or pointing fingers at the other party or simply walking away, and not being mature enough to talk about the issues, no one wins in your relationship.  Do you want the love of your life to slip through your fingers without first trying to work things out?  Alfred Lord Tennyson said, “tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”  I totally agree.  Personally, I believe that if you are able to catch your relationship before your heart completely dies, it can be salvaged, if that’s what you two decide.

Gurl go get your guy.  Guy go get your gurl.  It really is okay to reach out and say, “Can we talk?”  No, you’re not a weakling by doing this.  In fact, it takes a lot of courage to start a dialogue about how you feel and what you want out of your relationship.  It can be scary because, quite honestly, you don’t know if your partner is going to be receptive to what you have to say.  Don’t try and read their minds or assume they are going to respond in an unfavorable way.  Remember, if you don’t ask, you’ll never know.

Always remember:

#GurlYouGotItGoinOn

#GuyzYouGotItGoinOn

Love ya,

Grace

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P.S.:  Please stay tuned because there will be a Part II to this topic.

Here We Go Again…

Autumn Leaves

Sadly, summer is nearly over.  As with every year, I always come up with a list of things that I’m going to do, but never get to accomplish much of them for one reason or another.

Image result for images of fall leavesAs fall approaches, it’s almost time to put away my sandals (which I never look forward to), and don a light weight jacket.  I love autumn because of the leaves falling off the trees and turning into an array of bright colors; however, some people don’t see it that way.

There are those who view the change in season as a death sentence.  They are plaqued by the sun going down earlier because they feel as though they are losing their source of energy.  The sun How to Make Dead Leaves Decompose Fasterand the longer nights really do wonders for them.  However, as we get closer to fall, they find themselves beginning to drag around and/or shutting down beforehand as they brace themselves for the change in season, which leaves them not in the best of moods.  Their happiness is gone, temporarily, until they are able to adjust.  Some people have to take medication during this time to get them through because it’s just too difficult to manage without it.     There are some of us who will never understand what this feels like for those people who have to struggle with this every year.  I wished that I could embrace each and every person to assure them that it’s going to be okay.

If this is you, please don’t ever be ashamed or embarrassed.  Every single person on the face of the earth has something they are dealing with in life (some more than others), and it’s real.  We shouldn’t just tell people to get over it because we don’t know how they are feeling nor should we tell them how fast they should recover.

Love <3 Fall Leaves <3

You should never deal with life’s issues alone because that can lead to other things triggering off in your mind and body.  Find a good network of family and/or friends who will love on you when you’re going through.  These are the people who won’t judge you, but rather have your back.  You may feel as though they can’t identify with you, and are afraid you’ll run them away or they’ll look at you through different eyes once they learn about your secret; however, I beg to differ.  They will be there to support you through your difficult time, and actually want to be there for you whether it’s a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, a prayer or whatever it is you need.  I wished when I was going through my phase of depression that I had shared it with others, so they could have supported me through that period of my life; however, I was just too embarrassed and ashamed to talk about it. The flip side of the coin is that if you shut people out of your life and just disappear, they have no idea what’s going on and will most likely think they did something to offend you.  If you don’t want to share what’s going on, maybe you could say something like, “I just need some alone time right now,” instead of leaving them to assume that you no longer want their business.  Always keep in mind, that people aren’t mind readers, and are human.

Even though my blog is written primarily for women, men face these issues as well, and should be loved on too; therefore, they shouldn’t be left out.

One of my younger cousins posted this on his FaceBook page and I thought it was apropos:

Men get depression.

Men get anxiety.

Men get suicidal thoughts.

Men have mental health illness.

Maybe instead of saying “man up”,

Say, “It’s okay to talk about it.”

 

Embrace your fears.  

I promise you will get through this.

You’re not alone.

 

Always remember, #GurlYouGotItGoinOn (and Guyz)

Love ya,

Grace

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Sister-to-Sister…

Image result for sisters

Hey, gurl, I hope you’re having a great day…

Several days ago, while I was walking to my car, the thought for today’s blog popped into my head.  Why, you might ask?  I feel that sometimes we don’t get the support we should from our “sisters” or “sista friends” for a variety of reasons.

As we know, women have the propensity to be downright catty (this is something that some learned from childhood and weren’t ever able to let it go).  I’ve been around women who weren’t always kind, and I couldn’t figure out why, particularly as I hadn’t done anything (as far as I was aware).  I used to work with a woman who, on a daily basis, would look me up down; she didn’t even try to be discrete about it.  Was I uncomfortable?  You betcha, but I tried not to let it show.  Perhaps, I could have broached the subject with her, but I chose to ignore her negative behavior.  I’ve passed by women who have mugged me for no particular reason, and just recently, I looked up only to discover someone giving me the “stank” eye or more commonly known as the “evil” eye.  I said to myself, “Wow, really?  I thought we were cool.”

Why is it that some women are threatened or jealous of other women?  I’m sure that’s an age old question that, unfortunately, I don’t have an answer to.

Having said this, I’ve met some really wonderful women who have their stuff together. They know who they are and aren’t intimated by any other women no matter what their status in life is.  They understand that there is “enough room at the table for everyone.”  Period!

We, as women, should be able to compliment other women on their beauty (inner and outer), their sense of style, makeup, cooking, thrifty ways, etc., without feeling like that takes away from who we are.  I often joke that Halle Berry doesn’t have anything on me. I’m not crazy.  Trust me, I know that if she and I were beside each other, she would be the one to stand out in the crowd and 99.9% of the attention would be on her (that’s perfectly fine) because she’s a very beautiful woman.  However, what I mean is that I’m confident in who I am.  I don’t need nor I desire to look like or be anyone else besides myself although there was a time in my life that I wanted to be anyone except me.

Don’t make your sister feel unwelcome because you’re insecure.  It’s time to take a long hard look at yourself, and figure out who you are.  Those things that you’d like to change, do so.  You don’t need to ask anyone’s permission to be yourself.  You are unique.  Maybe you haven’t figured it out yet, but you’re wonderful.  Maybe you’re envious of your peers because you’ve been comparing yourself to them and feel as though you don’t measure up.  I want you to stop thinking that right now!  No two people are alike; we may have similarities but we’re our own individuals.  Once you’ve arrived at this point, you’ll be able to love and even embrace your many sisters who are just waiting to welcome you with open arms.

To the Sisterhood…

This is my sister circle:  Top, biological sister; right, best friend for 46 years; bottom, dearest friend for nearly 13 years.  What I love about each of these women is that they add something totally different to my life, and it’s always, always wrapped in love — no matter what!

When you walk, lift your head like the QUEEN you are,
Gurl, don’t you know that you’re a shining star.
We have spent too many years trying to figure out this thing called “life,”
We don’t have time for jealousy, envy, and strife.
When they look you up and down,
Instead of turning your smile into a frown,
Put your head in the air,
As you leave them to wonder and stare.
Each day I’m working on who I aspire to be,
So, gurl you might as well stop wasting your energy hating on me.
Learn to love yourself and the skin you’re in,
Then, perhaps, you’d see that we could all win.

Always remember, #GurlYouGotItGoinOn

Love ya,

Grace

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Family — Not Necessarily the One You’re Born Into…

family-quote

We all have families — some family members we love to death and there are others that you might like to “kick” out as one of my uncles “jokingly” told me (though he was serious; no I’m not going to say which uncle or which family member).  LOL!

FAMILY: The True Meaning of FamilyFamily consists of the people who support and love you, and the people you can confide in and trust.

That about sums it all up.  Sometimes, your friends are closer to you than your actual family members — the family you were born or adopted into.

My, then, 3-year-old granddaughter figured this out on her own.  Last year, one of my friends was “playfully picking on her,” which got her attention.  Normally, she would retreat and not have anything further to do with the individual who was “bothering her,” but not this particular person.  In fact, quite to the contrary, she started asking all sorts of questions about them much to my amazement, which was definitely out of her character.  Before long, she started calling them her family (mind you, she had only spent a little time with them at this point).  To test her, one day I asked, “Why are they your family?”  Her 3-year-old response was, “Because they are my friend, they are my family.”  One of my daughters asked her if one of her friends was her family.  Her response was, “No, they are my friend”.  I have to admit that I was absolutely blown away.  How could someone so young put something so major into perspective?  How could she understand what some people who are older than she is don’t?  Until this very day, my friend is her family, and they have a very special bond.

Sometimes, we look at people and their families and “envy” them because their family is large and they are what we call “tight nit.”  They talk and socialize regularly, and are there for each other.  You long for that type of relationship with your family but, for whatever reason, it’s never forthcoming.

My family is pretty small on both my paternal and maternal side.  That’s one of the reasons I’m glad that my maternal uncle has a cookout every summer wherein he invites family and friends.  It’s good to see family during happy times rather just when someone passes.  During that time, everyone promises to get together, but it never happens.  My uncle usually makes this a two day event, which is really cool because the second day it’s just my immediate family.  The paternal side of my family is even smaller, and I very seldom spend time with them, unfortunately.  It’s funny how times change because when I was growing up, I spent more time with my paternal family.

When I was growing up, we used to have big family dinners at Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I remember when I “graduated” from the “kids” table to the “big people table”.  You couldn’t tell me that I hadn’t arrived.  These are memories that I will cherish for life.

I have longtime friends whom I consider family because they have been there for nearly every facet of my life — the good, the bad, and the ugly.  I also have new friends that I call family as well because as my granddaughter would say, “Because they are my friend, they are my family“.  They welcomed me and all of my craziness with open arms, no questions asked, and it feels like they’ve been a part of my life since forever.

No matter if you’re born into a family or “choose” your family, enjoy your time with them because seemingly go by in a fleeting moment.  Let them know how much they mean to you, and don’t forget to remind them of this often.

You, younger folk, should try and get to know the elders in your family.  Not only do they have a ton of wisdom and knowledge, but you can learn so much from them.  They possess a wealth of information they willingly want to share, which not only is interesting and fascinating, but can also give you a glimpse into your history.  I always enjoy hearing about the “good old days”.

My granddaughter and her great grandfather sharing moments of fun…

Always remember, #GurlYouGotItGoinOn

Love ya,

Grace

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Ain’t Nothing Like Some Good ‘Ole R&R…

 

Unused vacation

 

Life is hectic.  We are constantly ripping and running.  Most of us work, and by the time we get home and have dinner, check in with our spouse or significant other (if you’re in this category, get the kids ready for bed (for those who have them), it’s time for us to “crawl” into bed ourselves.  We work hard, but often forget that we need some down time as well.  Our bodies and are minds are in sync screaming at us to “relax and unwind”, but our response is “no time” or “no finances”; therefore, we continue the same pace day in and day out.

Some of you are stressed to the max, and don’t feel like you can keep up with the pace too much longer.  You want out of the “rat race.”  The only time you get any type of rest is when you’re sleeping, and some of you don’t even rest well then because your minds are constantly churning.

It’s important for our mental and physical well being to unplug and unwind from time to time, and it’s not only okay to do so, it’s absolutely “imperative.”

Some people are fortunate enough to always take their vacations away while others take what we call “staycations”.  There are folks who take long weekends every now and again, which is a huge help.  No matter which option you choose, you need to “learn” to relax.  I know someone who worked constantly to take care of their family.  If there was overtime, they signed on for it.  They would work seven days a week without any sort of break.  Guess what?  It caught up with them.  Ultimately, they had a heart attack from the stress of it all.  Thank God, they recovered.  However, it taught them an extremely valuable lesson — you can’t work 24/7 and think your body won’t give out on you.

I was blessed this year to be able to take two vacations — one in Los Angeles the beginning of the year (to celebrate my son’s 21st birthday), and the other was a “staycation”.

My trip to L.A. was absolutely wonderful, but if I had it to do all over again, I would probably not do anything the day before we left.  I’m glad that I took off the day after we returned home because the “old” girl is not as “young” as she used to be.  LOL!  It was a great trip because I’ve always wanted to go out to Los Angeles, but never had the opportunity to do so.  I have to admit I was a little more than nervous because I hadn’t been on a plane since before 9/11; however, I’m grateful we made it there and back safely.

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My “staycation” was taken because my granddaughter’s daycare was closed for the week. However, it was absolutely most enjoyable and definitely much needed.  My granddaughter, one of my friends and myself went to the beach for the day; I honestly don’t know who was more excited about going — my granddaughter or myself.  She was deathly terrified of sand touching her feet prior to this outing, but said she was “going to be a big girl and wasn’t going to be afraid”.   Guess what, she wasn’t.  LOL!  I was able to get some cleaning and sorting of clothes done, and even got some much needed exercise in.  Woohoo!  My granddaughter and I worked on letters and sight words.  We went to the park, kicked her soccer ball around, and raced each other; she even got to play at the area in our local mall.  We ended the week with going to a Steampunk Festival where she had a great time and chatted it up with everyone she met (I guess she got this from me; one of my friends calls me “Chatty Kathy”, LOL!).  Then, Sunday came night :-(.  Although I was ready to face the week feeling refreshed and renewed, my granddaughter wanted more vacation time, and cried and cried until I told her it was going to be okay.  I assured her that I always returned to pick her up.  However, once she saw her friends, it was game on :-).

 

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I can’t wait for my next vacation.   Until then…

This is your life.  

“Learn” to enjoy it.  

Don’t ever be afraid to unplug; it really is okay.  

 

Always remember, #GurlYouGotItGoingOn

Love ya,

Grace

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Please Hand Me the Remote…

Bored woman sitting at home with remote control watching tv

 

This thing called “life” has lots of twists and turns and, oftentimes, we are thrown curveballs leaving us to ponder “What am I going to do“, “What should I do”, and/or “Who should I call”?  Our minds take on lifeforms of their own and tend to “have their way with us” as we wrestle with it all.

I don’t know about you, but there are many days that I wished I could turn my mind off as I attempt to manage the issues and circumstances that I clearly didn’t anticipate nor did I ever expect to have to deal with.  It seems that before you can catch your breath, another situation arises, and then another, and another.  You want to get off the “merry go round”, but it won’t slow down enough for you to bail.  Is life like this everyday? Absolutely not although sometimes we “imagine” it is.  We have good days as well as bad days.  Some would probably say they have more bad than good days.  I can honestly say that’s not the case for me, but when it’s bad, it’s really bad.  Just recently, I felt like the entire bottom had fallen out of my life.  It seemed as though everything that could possibly go wrong did.  I was bewildered.  I was frustrated.  I was angry.  I was hurt.  It seemed no matter where I turned there wasn’t any relief in sight.  My mind would not turn itself off as my frustration and anxiety mounted.  Midweek, one of my friends texted me the video “He Has His Hands on You” by Marvin Sapp, and that got me through the next several days.  However, I felt like I was slammed on Friday of that same week and went to bed that night without any resolution and feeling pretty desolate.  Needless to say, I was completely worn out.  I was mentally drained.  One of my other friends texted me early Saturday morning to say that she pulled the t-shirt out that I gave her with my hashtag, GurlYouGotItGoinOn.  At that point, I picked myself up, and dusted myself off.  She had given my words back to me.  The funny thing is that neither one of these people knew what was going on in my life.  I don’t even think they knew the reason they reached out to me, but I did.

There are times that you flip through your mind as if you’re channel surfing.  You play one thing in your mind, then the next, and the next and so forth and so on.  It’s how some people watch TV.  They start one program, then another; they watch several shows or movies simultaneously.  I can’t do that because it’s too much, so I usually watch a movie til the end unless it’s pretty bad.  When your mind is on overload, you feel lost and alone, and feel like you are at lowest point.  Some reach out to their circle of friends or family while others deal with the pain on their own.  They won’t let anybody in because they “don’t want people in their business” or they feel as though “people will view them as weak”.  I get it.  However, we have to “learn to trust” someone because we need to be able to release our feelings of frustration or, perhaps, even our pent-up anxiety.  Unfortunately, everyone doesn’t have your best interest at heart (learned this the hard way), so it’s imperative that you surround yourself with a supportive circle who really cares about you and your well being (not people who just want something to gossip about) — people who won’t judge you for your thoughts or feelings.

Let’s face it, life can be downright scary at times because we don’t always have the answers.  For those of us, who know God, we pray and have faith, but sometimes our faith wanes because we don’t know if He is going to work it out the way we desire.  We can’t see what’s happening in the background, so we worry — some to the point wherein you make yourselves sick (been down that road).

Sometimes, it’s people whom we have helped time and time again who bring a lot of unwanted and undesired drama, distortion, and devastation to our lives.  They ask for our assistance, but never stand on their own two feet.  They are constantly ringing our phones for every single thing, and in the end we are left feeling burnt out as they are always on the receiving end; they are always taking from and never adding to.  I’ve had to start saying, “No”.  There are things that I’m done with, and I feel completely comfortable in my decision.  I can’t continue to let the same people wear me out day after day.  I’ve had to take a step back.  Rather than allowing myself to get all wound up and upset over situations people have created and continue to create for themselves, when I’m called or texted, my response is simply “Okay,” and I’m perfectly fine with that. I need to learn how not to be an enabler for people’s foolishness.  I’m not being selfish, but sometimes you have to know when it’s time to “let go”.

In one of my earlier posts, I talk about how women often have a good network of friends that we can go to and be completely transparent with, thereby, releasing our anxiety, frustrations, doubts, etc.  However, in that same article, one of my male followers shared that men don’t often have anyone to turn to.  Let me just say this pain, hurt, loneliness, worry, confusion, doubt or any other emotion is not gender specific.  Everyone (female AND male) needs to be able to release.  There are men who “struggle in secret” because of people’s perception of what they think a man should be.  If you’re not going to be supportive, then please move out of the way (sorry).

As we deal with life and change the channel after the “movie” has ended, we will be able to breathe and share our story with the next person who is struggling and trying to cope.  No, we can’t turn our minds off, but we can learn to silence some of the voices so that we aren’t dealing with everything at once and finding ourselves overwhelmed.

Always remember, #GurlYouGotItGoinOn

Love ya,

Grace

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