Bound or Free? The Choice Is Yours…

BOUND:  Restricted or confined to a specific place; prevented from operating normally by the specified conditions.

There are times in life when we are bound, but have no idea.  We can be bound in unhealthy relationships, bound to addictions, bound to habits, bound to jobs, bound, bound, bound.  Oftentimes, the reason we don’t feel as though we are bound is because we have found a way to navigate around those situations to which we are in bondage.  

For years, I was bound.  I walked around every single day in that state.  I had become used to that life.  I would pray about the situation and talked about it to my closest friends and family members.  At one point, I decided that it was as good as it was ever going to get – until one day…

FREE:  Not under the control or in the power of another; able to act or be done as one wishes; unblocked.

One day, I decided that my life could be better and that I deserved so much better.  I wanted to be free.  I decided that I could no longer live in the place of being bound.

The day that I made that the decision that having my freedom was necessary in order for me to live (mental health) was not only one of the scariest moments of my life, but also one of the most liberating.

Whatever you are bound to today, you don’t have to be.  You can gain your freedom.  Change is never easy.  There is always fear of the unknown.  I talk to my 3-year-old granddaughter when she is afraid of something such as going to the doctors because of her fear of needles.  I let her know that I’m right there with her and won’t let anything happen.  I explain as best I can what she can expect to happen during the visit.  I also explain to her that while things are scary sometimes, there are times that those things are necessary.

If you’re in a relationship where someone is putting their hands on you, get help.  Don’t be afraid to leave.  You are no one’s punching bag.  You’re saying, “How am I going to make it?  I have no money; he takes care of all the finances.  I love him.  He is going to get better”.  How much more of this are you willing to take?  Do you want your kids to think this is normal?  Do you want them to continue to stress out about it?  You deserve so much more.  There are resources where you can go to get help.  It’s not easy to walk away by any stretch of the imagination.  However, look at the big picture.  Is this really what you want for your life?  If this is you and you fear for your life, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.  Someone is available 24/7 to speak with you confidentially.

Perhaps, you’re not being abused physically, but your abuse comes in the form of mental and/or verbal.  Try convincing your partner to go to counseling.  If they refuse, don’t let that stop you; go and get your healing.  Remember, abuse is abuse is abuse!  Never allow anyone to afflict their insecurities and hurts upon you.  You’ve tried sorting this out in your head, now it’s time to get someone who is unbiased that can help you get to the bottom of why you allow yourself to remain in this situation.  Don’t ever be ashamed to seek help.  It takes a lot of courage, but you got this!  There are trained professionals who are waiting for your phone call and want to help you.  You don’t have to do carry this burden alone.  In the meantime, get a small support group who you can call any time of day or night.

At one point in my life, I didn’t think I deserved anything good.  I felt that I should take whatever came along, and for a long time I did, but NO MORE!  I can’t tell you how ecstatic I am that the chains of bondage have been broken over my life.  Recently, I looked at some pictures that I had posted last year vs. the pictures that I have posted since being free, and I see a tremendous difference.  I was simply going through the process of being free, but I had no idea what being free actually looked like.  Yes, it’s definitely more than the outward appearance.  Being free also means being at peace and that, my friends, you can’t put a price tag on.

I am somebody.  You are somebody — think it, feel it, believe it and, lastly, walk in it!  

The first three pictures are after I was free, and the last three are when I was bound.

Never beat yourself up about choices that you’ve made that may not have been the best.  It’s okay.  We’ve all been there.  Use those mistakes as a learning tool from which to grow.  Trust me, it’s going to be okay.

I don’t usually ask this, but would you be willing to share today’s post because I feel strongly that there is someone who needs to read it.  Thanks in advance, Grace.

#GurlYouGotItGoinOn

 

Author: Grace Deveraux

I started this site for women because as a woman, I understand the challenges that we face on a daily basis -- from being a wife (or significant other) and mother, to taking care of everyone and everything else -- that is, except ourselves.

4 thoughts on “Bound or Free? The Choice Is Yours…”

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