I worked on this post for roughly two weeks because I had so much going on. I almost gave up on this topic, but a conversation with someone and, unbeknownst to them at the time, it WAS CONFIRMED the topic that I was to write about — nothing like having confirmation.
Learn to love and embrace the skin you’re in. I did and, certainly, you can too. Regardless of whether you’re tall, short, thin, “pleasingly” plump, no matter your nationality, societal status, skin color, etc. LOVE YOU AND EMBRACE, ALL OF YOU — after all, it’s the only you that you’ll ever have.
Let’s face it, oftentimes, we, as women, don’t always feel like we measure up — we don’t feel pretty enough; we don’t feel thin enough or curvy enough; we don’t feel smart enough — the list could go on and on. As a result of our of negative thoughts and feelings, we are suffer inside and wish we could be anyone except ourselves. How do I know, you ask? I used to be that woman. I hated every single thing about myself from the crown of my head to the very tips of my toes, and no matter how I dressed up the outside, and “painted” on my happy face, deep down inside I was wallowing in self-pity and self-loathing. Pretty sad, I know, but that was my “secret” reality for many, many years.
You see, somewhere along the line I was told that I wasn’t good enough, that I’d never amount to anything and that I wasn’t attractive enough and, unfortunately, I believed it for most of my life. Can you imagine someone saying these things to you and about you? I was absolutely devastated, but I kept all of my hurt bottled up on the inside. Because of this, I always compared myself to other women. Everyday, I was completely and utterable miserable. I was envious of what I perceived those women to have because of what I “thought” I lacked. Honestly, my self-esteem was so low that it couldn’t have gotten any lower. What I didn’t realize at the time was there was nothing wrong with me. Sure I had my issues, but who doesn’t? I had allowed people’s negative views of me into my mind, and whatever they thought of me is who I became.
As a result of feeling lower than low, I made some very poor choices and was depressed for a good portion of my life. However, no one knew how I felt except for God and me. To the world, the outer person looked perfectly fine, but the inner girl was in constant turmoil as she dealt with all the hurt and pain that was imposed upon her as well as self-inflicted pain. Someone probably looked at me and thought I had it going on; however, they had no clue of my daily struggles. That’s why it’s never, ever a good idea to want to be anyone except who you are — who you were destined to be. I’m a prime example of just because a person appears to be okay doesn’t necessarily mean they are.
If you don’t love the skin you’re in, ask yourself why. Was it a result of your upbringing? Was it the result of a relationship gone bad? Is it because you looked in the mirror and saw the flaws that make you unique, and wished you could erase them? Let me say this, you are divinely created. Mediate on that for a minute or two.
I’m so glad that I no longer travel that road of absolutely despising myself and feeling like I didn’t matter. Over the years, I gradually began to realize who I was and what I was worth, and was able to put the pieces of the puzzle of my life together; however, not without many tears and much prayer. The funny thing is that I can’t even tell you when it all changed. It’s like one day, I woke up and all of those negative, derogatory feelings about myself disappeared. The girl who didn’t know her self-worth and that had been tragically scarred by some of the people that she trusted to love and care for her was gone; she suddenly no longer existed. No more did I have to masquerade around as though I was this secure woman because I actually become that woman. I felt myself starting to stand up a little taller as my insecurities started to drop off one by one. Every now and again, insecurities come a knocking for one reason or another; however, during those moments, I get to myself so that I can process what’s going on in my head. Sometimes, I might talk to one or two of the people in my inner circle. After that, I get up, dust myself off, pray, and say, “Girl, you got this,” and just like that, I feel so much better. Gone are the days of wishing I were someone else. Today, I can’t fathom being anyone else except me — no matter if she’s prettier, has a banging body, longer hair, flawless skin, abs for days or whatever — I LOVE ME and you can love yourself as well. I’m not going to tell you that you’ll reach that point in your life over night because you have to learn to shed those negative thoughts and feelings by replacing them with positive affirmation.
Today, if there is someone in your life who is making you feel down about yourself, extract them immediately! They have no right to tear you down and, therefore, they don’t deserve to be a part of your life. Who cares what they think anyway? What I’m learning is that people who are insecure about who they are will belittle you in an attempt to feel better about themselves. Don’t allow them to do that — take your power back!