Your relationship has just ended and so has your world — that is, so you think. You were with the man of your dreams — or so you thought. You were madly in love. Your nose was so wide open (as the old people used to say) that you could drive two tractor trailers straight up your nostrils. You woke up thinking about him. You went to bed thinking about him. You thought about him ALL DAY LONG — that is, until one day you found out that he wasn’t who you thought he was. Because you were so in love (or lust), you failed to stop at the STOP SIGN (heck, you didn’t even yield). You went straight through it without even braking. You failed to see what was important to notice. Don’t feel bad, most of us have been there.
In the beginning, everything was just “peachy”. He paid attention to you. He called you all the time. He was kind and courteous. He was respectful. He bought you flowers, and gave you “just because” gifts. Then, as time marched on, those things stopped happening as much, but by then you were so hooked it really didn’t matter. Now, I’m not saying that your guy has to always buy you “material” things because things do change financially. However, he should still be into you. If he’s not, then it’s your duty to find out why. After all, this is your life.
Then, one day, he dropped a “bomb” on you. He told you that the relationship was no longer working for him. He said “it was over.” He didn’t even have the nerve to tell you face to face, but rather sent an insensitive “text message”. Of all the “cowardly” things to do. You reread the message a ton of times, and it said the same thing, “It’s over”. You clutch your heart, and fall back into the chair. You ask yourself how this could have happened. Then, you ask yourself what had you done to make him walk out of your life. You start picking yourself apart by saying, maybe you could have cooked more, maybe you shouldn’t have been so needy or clingy, maybe, maybe, maybe. You never once stopped to think that it was him with the issue and not you.
You pick up your phone to call him, but your call goes to voicemail every single time. You feel like you’ve been played. You feel like an absolute fool. You had been running around like a giddy school girl with this big old smile on your face. All of your friends knew about this wonderful man that you had found. Now, you have to go back and tell them that he “dumped” you via text message.
Now, come the tears which you can’t seem to turn off no matter how hard you try. You can’t sleep. You can’t eat. You don’t want to face the world. The only thing you want to do is hide out at home. You look at your phone everyday hoping that he called you or left you a message. However, there is no word from him — goose egg, nada. He has completely vanished from your life.
How are you ever going to survive, you ask yourself. Let me tell you how:
- You’re going to wipe those tears from your eyes.
- You’re going to tell yourself he missed out on the best woman he could have ever had.
- You’re going to tell yourself that it wasn’t you.
- You’re going to remind yourself that you are beautiful inside and out.
- You’re going to pray for him to be removed from your heart so that it won’t hurt as much in order for you to move on with your life.
- You’re going to spend time with yourself to get reacquainted with who you are.
- You’re going to get out and meet new friends and reconnect with old friends.
What you’re not going to do is:
- Mope around.
- Beg for him to come back.
- Go looking for him to stalk his every move.
- Damage any of his property.
- Post your feelings on social media by bashing him.
- Go asking his family if he’s seeing someone else.
- Find yourself in such a depressed state that you don’t want to live.
You will take your life back, and move on. Girl, don’t you know that you are a survivor? Oh, yes, it hurt like the dickens, but it’s going to be okay, trust me. You cannot make a person love you no matter how hard you try or no matter what you do. It’s either they love you or they don’t.
You Will Survive.
We Will Survive.
P.S.: I now have a podcast which is featured on Spotify as well as Apple Podcasts which you may find under Grace Deveraux or Chat With Grace. Also, you may find me on Instagram @Gracedeveraux. Please stop by and check out what I’ve been up to lately.