How many times have we stayed in a friendship, relationship or job far too long? It doesn’t matter if the situation is no longer ideal, it’s comfortable and it’s what we know and have become accustomed to, so we stay regardless of our inner thoughts screaming at us to get out — to leave. We have “normalized” the relationship/friendship/place of employment in our minds because we are afraid of the unknown, which is perfectly normal.
There are times when we meet people and there is an immediate connection. We expect to remain friends for life because things were going so well. Then, one day, for whatever reason, the friendship slowly fades. The communication slowly wanes. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. We didn’t have a disagreement. We just outgrew the friendship or perhaps the relationship status changed because the person moved away. People come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime; I’m a firm believer of this as people have come into my life in all three of these phases.
Sadly, this also applies to family members. There was a disagreement that put a rift in your relationship, and you were never able to get back on the same page. Unfortunately, the kinship just couldn’t be mended. One day things were going well, and the next it was like “poof, they disappeared without a trace”. Maybe, you’ve tried to “fix” whatever became “broken”, but the other party or parties just prefer to leave it be. This one really stings because no matter what, at the end of the day, you’re still family.
There were times that you knew you needed to move on from your place of employment, but you were comfortable. You knew your job inside and out. You were so good at it that you could perform it in your sleep. You had developed great friendships with your coworkers, and was torn with the thought of leaving them. However, things happened that put a fire underneath you because it was time for that chapter to end.
Maybe you were in a dead end relationship that you just couldn’t see your way out of. You knew that it wasn’t healthy, but you stayed nonetheless — in fact, you overstayed. You knew this person and even though they weren’t right for you, you felt it was better than starting over getting to know someone new or worse yet, being alone. If you have kids, you might have convinced yourself that you stayed for them. Conceivably, you may have even stayed for the finances because it’s easier to pay the bills when there are two incomes versus one. However, if you were truly honest with yourself, you’d probably come up with the real reason you stayed – you were terrified to leave even though the relationship was sucking the life right out of you. Bit by bit, you turned into someone that you didn’t even recognize as the stress brought out the worst in you. Then, the day came when you finally had enough. You wanted to get off the merry-go round or maybe you called it a rollercoaster ride. No matter what you called it, you wanted it to stop and let you off.
Let me say this, don’t be so afraid to close the chapter that you stay stuck and end up being someplace or with someone that you shouldn’t be with because fear has you immobilized. Make a plan, i.e., a list of things you need to do to close the chapter. Journal about how closing the chapter will impact your life in a positive way. Talk to a trusted friend about what you’re thinking. Pray about it. Then, when, you’re able to mentally, physically, and emotionally close the chapter, don’t look back. Because, in doing so, you’ll find yourself longing for what was and may find yourself going backwards. Once you’re free stay free because you may never be able to summon up enough courage again.
“You have to accept that some chapters in our lives have to close without closure. There’s no point in losing yourself by trying to fix what’s meant to stay broken.”
Absolutely! When I read that, it hit home because how many times do we attempt to get closure, and almost “force” people to give us a reason for walking out on us. I have to admit the “not knowing” hurts like the dickens because we want an explanation and feel we deserve one, and maybe we do. However, if we don’t get one, we have to close the chapter ourselves! It’s not worth the stress of trying to figure out what could have gone wrong and/or blaming ourselves for their departure. Let them go!
I remember when I closed a chapter of my life. Even though I knew it was the best thing for me to do, I have to admit that the unknown was downright scary. I moved forward, however, and it was the best decision I ever made in my life. Did I know what the next chapter was going to hold? Nope, but I’m loving this new chapter, which has brought about a lot of personal happiness, peace of mind, and freedom. Has it been easy? Absolutely not! However, I’m not looking back, but moving forward. One journey ended, but the start of the new journey has been great, and for the first time in forever, I’m excited. I can’t wait to see where this path takes me.
I think this pretty much speaks for itself. Let go! Wait! You deserve the best! No, it’s not easy! Pray for strength! Be patient — your time will come! Don’t get off course by looking at what you see or don’t see on the horizon.
Don’t continue to allow fear to prevent you from shutting the door and closing the chapter…It’s time to move on!
Always remember that, #GurlYouGotItGoinOn
P.S.: I now have a podcast that is featured on Spotify, Anchor as well as Apple Podcasts and a few others, which you may find under Grace Deveraux or “Take A Leap With Grace.” Also, videos and other “tidbits” are uploaded to my Instagram account, @Gracedeveraux, or my Facebook page, Grace Deveraux, each Friday afternoon. Please stop by and check out what I’ve been up to. 😊