Have you ever felt like you had no clue as to who you were, so you set out to be like someone else? You may have tried to sing like them or mimic their style of dressing or maybe used some of their catch phrases or even started talking like them. It’s okay because at one point in time, we have all had role models; however, there was a time when we eventually figured out WHO WE WERE. My youngest sister, who is 14 years and 9 months younger than I am, used to say all the time “When I grow up, I want to be just like you”. I thought that was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me. That all changed, however, when she grew up. She realized that she was her “OWN INDIVIDUAL PERSON” who needed to have her own “IDENTITY”, and not be a carbon copy of me. I was silently disappointed because it felt good to have someone look at you with such respect and admiration that they wanted to pattern their life after yours.
There was a time when none of us had our own identity. When we were kids, we were “so and so’s kid”. At some point, we may have been known as “so and so’s wife”. Then later, we became “so and so’s mother”. What happened to “US” and “OUR” identity? For some, it got lost and you were never able to recapture it.
If you’re still trying to figure out who you are, I want you to sit down and reserve some quiet time for yourself as you ponder this for a moment or two – “WHO ARE YOU”?
It took me a while to “FIND MYSELF”, as they used to say, because I always wanted to be like someone else and look like someone else and, thus, walked in other people’s shadows — hiding behind them. Therefore, no one got a chance to see “ME”. Then, there came a day when I realized WHO I WAS. What a glorious day!
If you’ve ever looked at other women and said, “Man, I wished I could be like her” or “I wished I looked like her” or “I wished I had a husband like hers” or, or, or, I want you to stop it right now. It’s okay to admire people, but it’s not cool to think that we have so little to offer ourselves or anyone else that we “THROW” ourselves away to become them. Gurl, don’t you realize who you are and what you have to give if you would be true to yourself?
If there are things that you don’t like, fix them. It’s not always as simple as that, I know. If you want to lose weight, find a system that works best for you. Some people can’t diet (that would be me) because they are unable to be consistent with it. Don’t set unrealistic expectations that you would never achieve because, in doing so, you have already set yourself up for failure. If you don’t like your hair, cut it, grow it out, color it. Whatever it takes for you to feel better about it. If you don’t like your wardrobe, talk to someone who may be able to give you some fashion tips (you don’t have to hire a wardrobe consultant). If you’d like to wear a little makeup but have no clue how to apply it, rather than doing it incorrectly, ask for help. You’ll find that most times people are willing to assist you. If you wanted to obtain a college degree, now is your time. If you wanted to take up that hobby, what’s stopping you? The list could go on and on, but I think you get my drift. Don’t be afraid to “BE YOU”.
I’ve compiled a list of who I am, and hope you will as well.
WHO I AM (characteristics): I am – 1) beautiful; 2) intelligent; 3) funny; 4) generous (giving of my time because Lord knows I have no money, LOL); 5) caring; 6) considerate; 7) compassionate; 8) loving; 9) nurturing; 9) encouraging; 10) loyal (my best friend and I have been friends for nearly 46 years, so that says a lot); 11) hardworking; and last but not least 12) a little “whack-a-doodles” (my kids think I’m off my rockers, but aren’t we all, LOL).
When I stop and think about who I really am, I see a strong woman who has had to overcome quite a few obstacles to get to this place in life. I see a woman who is not afraid of challenges. I see a woman who is willing to stand alone, if necessary. I see a woman who will take the bull by the horn. My stylist calls me “Norma Rae” because I’m not afraid to fight for what I believe in.
WHO ARE YOU: Fill in the blank ____. After compiling your list, I’m sure you’ve discovered so many attributes that you weren’t even aware of. Put your list in a spot that is visible. During those moments that you feel down or hopeless or worthless, review your list. Let those positive words sink in and help you to catch your second wind as you move forward. I had someone tell me that they didn’t think they could ever feel comfortable in their own skin. My response was “YES, YOU CAN”!
Today, I dare you to be bold and OWN YOUR LIFE, and say “I am ____”.
I AM PHENOMENAL! I AM FIERCE! I AM WOMAN! I AM FREE!
Always remember that #GurlYouGotItGoinOn!
P.S.: I now have a podcast which is featured on Spotify as well as Apple Podcasts which you may find under Grace Deveraux or Chat With Grace. Also, you may find me on Instagram @Gracedeveraux. Please stop by and check out what I’ve been up to lately.