Moving Into “2020”

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Happy New Year!

 

Can you believe it’s already 2020?  Where did 2019 go, and why does it seem like it went by at the speed of lightening?  As I reflect on the past year, I’ve had some good moments, some not so good moments, and some downright bad moments — in other words, I experienced the good, the bad, and the ugly.  I’ve had some chapters in my life closed, and some new chapters open.

People have said they couldn’t wait for 2019 to end and were eagerly anticipating 2020 because they felt it would be a much better year, certainly far better than the turbulence experienced in 2019.  I’ve seen numerous posts across the various platforms of social media wherein everyone was claiming 2020 to be “their year,” and “desperately” clinging onto every shred of hope they could muster up.  As I was leaving work the day before New Year’s Eve, one of the gentleman, who works in Environmental Services, said to me in response to me wishing him a Happy New Year, “I sure hope next year is better.”  I replied, “Me too.”  For some, 2019 was a really catastrophic year; therefore, they couldn’t wait to “slam the door shut” and run (not walk) into the New Year as they held on to some semblance of expectation that there would be a brighter tomorrow.

We all wish that the New Year will bring us nothing but pure happiness, delight, and joy, but let’s face it, it’s not always in the “cards.”  There are people whose lives have already been struck with tragedy, and I’m sure they are saying anything but Happy New Year.  In fact, they’re probably saying what’s so happy about it?  Trust me, I get it.

This will be the best year for some as everything they touch will seemingly turn into gold; they will be in the best of health, be financially stable, get that promotion, etc.  However, other’s will have the absolute worse, tempestuous year ever as they are shaken to their very core by situations that will knock the “wind out of their sail.”  The truth of the matter is that none of us knows what life has in store for us although we all pray for the best.

While most of the world celebrated seeing the beginning of a New Year, there are those who didn’t make it because they passed before the year ended.  I’ve never heard of so many deaths as I have in December 2019.  I received numerous texts and phone calls as well as read about people’s passing on social media.  Some deaths were a total shock while others were anticipated due to illness.

81245014_1279277358924820_2243859136414482432_n.jpgMy oldest paternal aunt died in December, a few days after celebrating her 88th birthday.  My 4-year-old granddaughter, who doesn’t really comprehend death and dying (nor do I expect her to),  said to me several days ago, “I’m mad and angry that Aunt Jeanette died.”  Those were her true feelings because the one thing she understood was that she would never see her great, great aunt again.  The reality of it is death is difficult for everyone, no matter the age, because we know it’s “final.”  Jordyn-Marie expressed her grief by saying that she was angry, but everyone handles grief differently, and no one can or should ever tell you how to grieve or how long the grieving process should take.  Some of you may have never had a chance to say goodbye because your loved one passed unexpectedly, and you are not only shocked but devastated as you face your days in total disbelief.  For those of you who had an argument for which you never made amends, stop beating yourself up about it and quit living on “Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda Boulevard.  Give yourself a break; you’re human and make mistakes, as we all do.  Maybe you’re one of the people who think had you been there you could have stopped their death.  The reality of it is, no you couldn’t have.  Perhaps, you were the caretaker for your loved one and you had to make the decision to place them in a nursing home where they passed. You’re left with feeling guilty because you felt like you could have changed the outcome. You did what was needed for your loved one. As much as we don’t like to talk about death, sadly, we must all face it at one point or another.  Even if your loved one was expected to pass, it doesn’t make it any easier for you to process.  The passing of those we love is one of the most difficult things in life that we will ever have to endure. If you find that you’re having an extremely difficult time processing and coming to terms with your loss, you might consider grief counseling. Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed should you need to seek this service; they are there for you and perhaps you may find it easier sharing your true feelings with a counselor as opposed to a family member or friend. Having said that, the counselors can’t make your pain go away but they can help you process and begin to heal.

As we go into 2020, let’s embrace our friends and family by loving on them because life really is short; we are only here for a mere moment.  Don’t wait until they’re gone to express your feelings; tell them while they can hear you, show them while they can appreciate it.  While you’re at it, don’t be afraid to use the words “I LOVE YOU” every now and again.

Yes, we’re all hoping and praying that 2020 will be a better year than the previous one, but in the event we are faced with some turbulence, let’s be sure to brace ourselves and hold on.  No matter what don’t let go.  As difficult as it may be, we will get through our storm(s).  I pray that you will be encouraged and strengthened in 2020.

Always remember, #GurlYouGotItGoinOn

Love ya,

Grace

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I want to leave you with this — it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be angry, it’s okay to feel as you work to process your pain…

While working on this post several days ago, I accidentally knocked my cup of coffee over and it fell into my laptop, which died.  Then, my desktop, keyboard, and mouse didn’t want to cooperate and couldn’t seem to get in sync with one another.  I’m glad I persevered and didn’t give up because, during the conversation that I had with my cousin today, it was confirmed this was the topic I was to write about.

 

P.S.:  I now have a podcast which is featured on Spotify as well as Apple Podcasts which you may find under Grace Deveraux or Chat With Grace.  Also, you may find me on Instagram @Gracedeveraux.  Please stop by and check out what I’ve been up to lately.

 

Author: Grace Deveraux

I started this site for women because as a woman, I understand the challenges that we face on a daily basis -- from being a wife (or significant other) and mother, to taking care of everyone and everything else -- that is, except ourselves.

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