This thing called “life” has lots of twists and turns and, oftentimes, we are thrown curveballs leaving us to ponder “What am I going to do“, “What should I do”, and/or “Who should I call”? Our minds take on lifeforms of their own and tend to “have their way with us” as we wrestle with it all.
I don’t know about you, but there are many days that I wished I could turn my mind off as I attempt to manage the issues and circumstances that I clearly didn’t anticipate nor did I ever expect to have to deal with. It seems that before you can catch your breath, another situation arises, and then another, and another. You want to get off the “merry go round”, but it won’t slow down enough for you to bail. Is life like this everyday? Absolutely not although sometimes we “imagine” it is. We have good days as well as bad days. Some would probably say they have more bad than good days. I can honestly say that’s not the case for me, but when it’s bad, it’s really bad. Just recently, I felt like the entire bottom had fallen out of my life. It seemed as though everything that could possibly go wrong did. I was bewildered. I was frustrated. I was angry. I was hurt. It seemed no matter where I turned there wasn’t any relief in sight. My mind would not turn itself off as my frustration and anxiety mounted. Midweek, one of my friends texted me the video “He Has His Hands on You” by Marvin Sapp, and that got me through the next several days. However, I felt like I was slammed on Friday of that same week and went to bed that night without any resolution and feeling pretty desolate. Needless to say, I was completely worn out. I was mentally drained. One of my other friends texted me early Saturday morning to say that she pulled the t-shirt out that I gave her with my hashtag, GurlYouGotItGoinOn. At that point, I picked myself up, and dusted myself off. She had given my words back to me. The funny thing is that neither one of these people knew what was going on in my life. I don’t even think they knew the reason they reached out to me, but I did.
There are times that you flip through your mind as if you’re channel surfing. You play one thing in your mind, then the next, and the next and so forth and so on. It’s how some people watch TV. They start one program, then another; they watch several shows or movies simultaneously. I can’t do that because it’s too much, so I usually watch a movie til the end unless it’s pretty bad. When your mind is on overload, you feel lost and alone, and feel like you are at lowest point. Some reach out to their circle of friends or family while others deal with the pain on their own. They won’t let anybody in because they “don’t want people in their business” or they feel as though “people will view them as weak”. I get it. However, we have to “learn to trust” someone because we need to be able to release our feelings of frustration or, perhaps, even our pent-up anxiety. Unfortunately, everyone doesn’t have your best interest at heart (learned this the hard way), so it’s imperative that you surround yourself with a supportive circle who really cares about you and your well being (not people who just want something to gossip about) — people who won’t judge you for your thoughts or feelings.
Let’s face it, life can be downright scary at times because we don’t always have the answers. For those of us, who know God, we pray and have faith, but sometimes our faith wanes because we don’t know if He is going to work it out the way we desire. We can’t see what’s happening in the background, so we worry — some to the point wherein you make yourselves sick (been down that road).
Sometimes, it’s people whom we have helped time and time again who bring a lot of unwanted and undesired drama, distortion, and devastation to our lives. They ask for our assistance, but never stand on their own two feet. They are constantly ringing our phones for every single thing, and in the end we are left feeling burnt out as they are always on the receiving end; they are always taking from and never adding to. I’ve had to start saying, “No”. There are things that I’m done with, and I feel completely comfortable in my decision. I can’t continue to let the same people wear me out day after day. I’ve had to take a step back. Rather than allowing myself to get all wound up and upset over situations people have created and continue to create for themselves, when I’m called or texted, my response is simply “Okay,” and I’m perfectly fine with that. I need to learn how not to be an enabler for people’s foolishness. I’m not being selfish, but sometimes you have to know when it’s time to “let go”.
In one of my earlier posts, I talk about how women often have a good network of friends that we can go to and be completely transparent with, thereby, releasing our anxiety, frustrations, doubts, etc. However, in that same article, one of my male followers shared that men don’t often have anyone to turn to. Let me just say this pain, hurt, loneliness, worry, confusion, doubt or any other emotion is not gender specific. Everyone (female AND male) needs to be able to release. There are men who “struggle in secret” because of people’s perception of what they think a man should be. If you’re not going to be supportive, then please move out of the way (sorry).
As we deal with life and change the channel after the “movie” has ended, we will be able to breathe and share our story with the next person who is struggling and trying to cope. No, we can’t turn our minds off, but we can learn to silence some of the voices so that we aren’t dealing with everything at once and finding ourselves overwhelmed.
Always remember, #GurlYouGotItGoinOn
P.S.: I now have a podcast which is featured on Spotify as well as Apple Podcasts which you may find under Grace Deveraux or Chat With Grace. Also, you may find me on Instagram @Gracedeveraux. Please stop by and check out what I’ve been up to lately.