Ladies, have you ever really wondered what men want? I think most of us would think that we know. The question is, “Do we really”? Have we ever taken the time to ask them or do we “assume”? When posed with this question, I’m sure the first thing that comes to mind is “intimacy”. However, men want much more than that. Actually, they want a lot of the same things that we do. Hard to believe, right? I thought so too. I have a male friend who wanted to be married, and never thought it was going to happen for him. He is a very nice guy, and was great husband material; however, it seemed he either met all the wrong women or wasn’t meeting any women at all — that is, until the day he met the woman of his dreams that he would later go on to marry.
Sometimes, men feel that women don’t want “good” guys; they seem to only be attracted to the “bad boys”, who more often than not, will break their hearts (usually these are the younger women; been there done that). You have men who go to work every single day to pay bills and become established, so that when that “special someone” enters their lives, they’re prepared. This may require them to work long hours or, perhaps, work a full and part-time job. Sometimes, women can’t handle this because they feel the men aren’t spending “enough” time with them, and feel left out and/or ignored. No matter how difficult it is, don’t become disheartened because you haven’t really matured enough to understand his “grind”; let him do his thing. Some of you may ultimately end the relationship, then wind up with the guy who has no vision, no goals, and is definitely not planning for his future.
If you’re the type of woman who emasculates your man and then expects him to be the leader, your rock, your confident, etc., it’s not going to happen. You can’t have it both ways — either you want a man or boy, you decide. In our defense, there are times when we tear down our man’s self-esteem “unintentionally”. I was talking to a close friend of mine and told him about an incident that occurred in my past relationship. He listened to what I had to say, and then told me I was wrong. What? Wait! Wrong? For years, I thought I handled the situation appropriately, but after he broke it down, I clearly saw the “error of my ways”. He was correct. I really felt bad. What an eye opener as I heard it from a man’s point of view. So, sorry.
Some of us women have strong, dominating personalities and while “real” men love strong women, they don’t want nor do they need a woman who is acting in the role of their mother — meaning telling them every single thing to do as if he doesn’t have a clue. Also, most guys don’t like control freaks, naggers or women who like to argue about every single thing. If this is you, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you’ll eventually lose your “good” man because he’s not going to deal with this no matter how much he is into you.
In today’s society, some women are earning more income than their man. Because of this some have the attitude, “I don’t really need you” as they “attempt” to wear the pants in the relationship, thereby, making their guy feel less and less a man each and every day, and certainly less special. This is a recipe for disaster, I don’t care who told you otherwise. Men want women who know how to be submissive. Now, before you get all upset and say to yourself, “I’m not going to let any man control me”, listen. I’m not saying that we should be a doormat. If you have a “real” man, you should let him take the lead. It will do wonders for his self-esteem and you’ll feel good knowing you put a smile on “your man’s” face. You need to keep in mind that your man encounters many negative things on a daily basis; therefore, you should desire to encourage him, uplift him, listen to him, pray for and with him, be a help meet, have his back, etc. Let him know you are there for him, and just how much he means to you.
Some of you have been so hurt from your previous relationship that you can’t enjoy your current one because you’re too busy waiting for the other shoe to drop. You’re with a great guy, learn to relax and just breathe.
Lastly, if you haven’t figured out what makes your man happy and/or tick, ask him; trust me, he’ll be more than a little excited that you did. Don’t ever be scared to show just how much you care.
Always remember, #GurlYouGotItGoinOn
P.S.: I now have a podcast which is featured on Spotify as well as Apple Podcasts which you may find under Grace Deveraux or Chat With Grace. Also, you may find me on Instagram @Gracedeveraux. Please stop by and check out what I’ve been up to lately.